youre lurking in front of me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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