chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
