you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
