I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize