Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I bet he comes in French.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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