The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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