Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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