after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
