Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
