yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
