If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
