NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
