D3 body, D1 cock
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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