Only a mothe r could love this liver
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
