Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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