i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
