the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
