You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
