Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
