ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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