fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
