We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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