thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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