Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize