I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
