There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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