So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
