I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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