WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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