you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
