I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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