she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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