He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
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I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
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That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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