But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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