11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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