He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
