I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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