theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize