Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
