Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
