Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
