maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
