Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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