end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
