we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
