bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
