OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
