JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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