Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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