I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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