I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
