i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
