i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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