My hand turned me down
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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