was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
