Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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